“His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch”

One of the best things about January for me is the darts.

At a time when we’ve all over-indulged, I find it somewhat comforting to watch beer barrel-shaped men standing on a brightly-lit stage, clad in flammable polyester, surrounded by hordes of intoxicated fans.

But the best bit has to be the commentary, the wordsmiths behind the microphones who are constantly searching for new images to bring the simplest of sports to life. And, in the dear departed Sid Waddell, we lost one of the geniuses of our time.

5. “This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.”

4. “Keith Deller’s not just an underdog, he’s an underpuppy!”

3. “Cliff Lazarenko’s idea of exercise is a firm press on a soda siphon. “

2. “The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips… you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.”

1. “His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch.”

If I could find the words to convey an image half as effectively as Sid, I’d be a very happy bunny…..so I guess you could say that watching the darts should count as work for copywriter such as myself.

“There’s only one word for that: magic darts!”  – Sid Waddell