Obituaries – how to give life after death

How do you sum up a person’s life in a few paragraphs?

I pondered this thought recently following two very different funerals I attended back in December – one was for an old family friend in his 80’s, the other for a much younger friend, not even in his 40’s, who had passed away from cancer. The circumstances were very different, but the need to remember their lives in words remained the same.

I’ve jotted down a few practical pointers below, together with real-life obituary examples to give you a flavour of how good writing can elevate a sombre situation.

1. Be authentic
Reflect the true person, foibles and all – one of the best compliments is that the obituary reads as if the person him/herself had written it.

e.g. “James was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on his way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date”

2. Use humour
Yes, it’s a sad occasion, but you want people to smile when reading the obituary, be it now or in years hence

e.g. “Lou was a daredevil – his last words were ‘Watch this!’”

3. Avoid clichés
Try not to start with:
“The family regrets to announce” or,
“After a courageous struggle”

e.g. “Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it to be known that he had lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor’s orders, or maybe for just living life a little too hard for over 5 decades”

4.Try not to end with:
“In lieu of flowers”

e.g. “In lieu of flowers, Jack asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favourite watering hole, get rip roaring drunk, and tell the stories he no longer can.”

Hopefully you won’t be called upon to write an obituary in the near future, but if you are, then it always helps to have some guidance to hand.