Do you speak wino?

The human palate is apparently the weakest of the five traditional senses….which raises an important question regarding wine tasting: how much b*llsh*t is involved?

Most (premium) retailers like to go by the adage, ‘You get what you pay for’. If so, then why was Lidl voted Supermarket of the Year at the Drinks Retailing Awards in February 2017? And, if this was a one-off, then why was its sparkling wine (costing £7.99) named one of the best in the world at the International Wine & Spirits Competition in June 2017, standing shoulder to shoulder with premium champagnes costing over £50?

I only use Lidl as an example (other budget supermarkets are available upon request) because the wine industry trades on snobbery and cachet value…which all adds up to a considerable amount of b*llsh*t…probably because so many people’s jobs and livelihoods depend upon it being so.

Empirical evidence suggests that wine experts aren’t really that expert….they’re just better at using words to describe wine than you are!

Let’s take a scientific look at the evidence….

Experiment 1: Wine experts contradict themselves. 

A statistician named Robert Hodgson analyzed a series of wine competitions in California, after being perplexed how certain wines could win a gold meal at one competition and end up nowhere in others.

So, he devised a simple test. He blindfolded wine experts,presented them with the same wine three times in succession, and asked them to rate them on a standard ratings scale of 50-100 which correlates to an A-F range. However, note that wines are considered “above average” or “good” if they receive a score of at 85 points and “extraordinary” above 95 points, so in reality, the rating for most wines is in the 75-95 range; i.e. about 20 points [Source: Wine Ratings – Wikipedia]

• The judges’ ratings typically varied by ±4 points (this represents a 20% variation on a 20 point range as detailed above)
• Only about one judge in 10 regularly rated the same wine within a range of ±2 points.

Experiment 2: Expert wine critics can’t distinguish between red and white wines

In 2001, researcher Frédéric Brochet invited 54 wine experts to give their opinions on two different glasses of wine: one red, and one white. In fact, the two wines were identical, except the “red” wine had been dyed with food coloring.

The experts described the “red” wine in language typically reserved for characterizing reds. They called it “jammy,” for example, and noted the flavors imparted by its “crushed red fruit.”

Not one of the 54 experts surveyed noticed that it was, in fact a white wine.

Experiment 3: We taste with our eyes, not our mouths

Brochet followed up his 2001 experiment with another, whereby he served wine experts an average Bordeaux in two different bottles:

One bottle bore the label of a esteemed Grand Cru, the other that of an ordinary vin de table.

Although the experts were being served exactly the same wine, they gave the bottles nearly opposite descriptions.

The Grand Cru was summarized as being “agreeable,” “woody,” “complex,” “balanced,” and “rounded,” while the most popular adjectives for the vin de table included “weak,” “short,” “light,” “flat,” and “faulty.”

Taking this one step further, a behavioral economist at MIT named Coco Krume broke down the type of words used for expensive (Grand Cru) wines into three categories: 

• Darker words, such as intense, supple, velvety, and smoky
• Exotic flavours such as tobacco or chocolate versus fruity, good, clean, tasty, or juicy for cheaper vin de table wines
• Exclusive-sounding words such as old, elegant, and cuvee  versus common-sounding words such as  pleasing, refreshing, good value and enjoyable
• Additionally, expensive wine is paired with more refined dishes such as shellfish and pork, whilst cheap wine is usually recommended alongside chicken and pizza, 

Using this scientific metric, Krume created a made-up review for an expensive-sounding wine:

“A velvety chocolate texture and enticingly layered, yet creamy, nose, this wine abounds with focused cassis and a silky ruby finish. Lush, elegant, and nuanced. Pair with pork and shellfish.” 

Makes you want to drink a bottle, doesn’t it?

Conclusion

We’ve all browsed in supermarkets, wine merchants or restaurants, and picked wines out, either for how they look, or how they sound…usually without the benefit of having tasted them first. Oh, and by the way, when you’re asked to taste a wine, all you’re really doing is confirming that it’s not off rather than whether you like it or not (although I suppose the entreaty, ‘Would Sir like to sniff the wine?’ doesn’t quite have the same cachet?!)

Still, it just goes to show that our visual sense (words) is more persuasive than our sense of taste (palate).

Other articles

Off the Menu – a look at how food and wine is sold via menu descriptions http://www.nobleword.co.uk/suppose-cant-always-cake-eat/