BLT 18-Jun: Do you network with people of colour/BAME…and if not, why not?

Q. How do white people need to behave to integrate BAME into networking groups?

Sometimes, when I write up a blog after a BLT meeting, I have to think long and hard in order to create a logical narrative and extract the key message. Sometimes I don’t – such as today’s BLT meeting – when the blog more or less writes itself…

Mark Harris’ LinkedIn post (following the Thu 18^th June meeting)

“I network at BLT (Business Let’s Talk – used to be in Marlow, now online via Zoom) and noted that we didn’t have faces of colour around the table (or onscreen). None of us are racist (or are we?) – I really believe it just hasn’t worked out that way.”

Chairing meetings & choosing the discussion topic at BLT rotates through members. Today was my turn. So, we discussed why no one of colour attends our meetings.

For a bunch of white people (privileged white people?) to do that would be pretty naff, so I invited three people of colour to join us – Nadeem Akhtar, Andy Best & Bee Rudki.

What happened was really interesting for all of us. We talked about discrimination & any racism they had encountered in (& out of) the business world, about how/when/where and with whom they network, and more.

It was really enlightening.

What I want to happen now is for you to look around the room at your next networking meeting. How is the proportionality? That’s in relation to BAME, and to gender, and to anything else you consider important.

Mark Harris”

Comments in response to Mark’s blog (abridged and with names removed)

There was a deluge of comments in response to Mark’s post (still ongoing – click here to view) . I’ve reproduced a few of them below, just to give you an idea of the context of the dialogue in response to the BAME networking question posed:

The female point of view

“I have only ever really noticed the male:female split at networking meetings. I would like to think that the reason for the lack of people of colour is not because we are unwelcoming…”

The lack-of-diversity point of view

“I’ve actually been in a number of very diverse networking groups, but I agree diversity can be difficult to achieve in what is essentially a very white, upper-middle-class area.”

The easier-not-to-speak-out point of view

“I don’t think people are generally racist but the PC ‘whatever-you-say-can-be-taken-in-multiple-ways”, means it’s difficult to be honest. Time and again we see people opening up only to be crushed by others with an unempathetic viewpoint. Talking is good but action is better (as you have proved).”

The alternative point of view

“Ouch! I’m thinking in my head about this, and wondering…if there is an opposite, where people of colour network without whites?”

The colour-is-not-an-issue point of view

“I just network – colour or race has never played a part in that. My life and career has brought me into contact with people…just people.”

So what was discussed at the BLT meeting?

Given the hour-long time slot and the need to cover such a lot of ground, there were arguably more questions than answers – this isn’t a topic that can be neatly wrapped up and presented as ‘sorted’!

So here’s (my interpretation) of summary of the key points:

• It’s usually the unconscious v the conscious bias.
• Education is critical – it’s all about context.
• Is there a preferred terminology and how do people know that terminology? It’s difficult to keep up-to-date, which makes it challenging not to be (inadvertently) offensive.
• White people often feel that they don’t know what to say anymore – saying nothing is often the safest option.

What our invited guests had to say

Andy Best – MD, change++ (a business intelligence company)

“From a young age, I stopped trying to fit in and be accepted for who I was … so I ended up trying to blend in and not be noticed. However, this is the complete antithesis of what you should do in business!”

• When you invite BAME people into a space, it’s difficult not to make it about tokenism.
• BAME networking groups? For me, this goes against the grain – it’s not exactly ‘blending in’ is it?
• It’s the subtle stuff nowadays – the unconscious bias – that gets me.

Nadeem Akhtar – Corporate Lawyer, Blackstone Legal

“It’s drummed into us as Asians that we have to work harder than non-BAME people to get ahead, so we already have a barrier to contend with before even starting a career.”

• In the legal industry, there is a glass ceiling, with often only a token BAME partner.
• Hence, the majority of new law firms are set up by Asians, who are more comfortable talking to Asian peers & Asian clients
• A lot of Asians adapt their names to fit in to a white culture; hence, part of the problem is ‘us’ trying to fit in

Bee Rudki – Immigration consultant, The Nathanson Partnership Immigration Servicese

“Being BAME and female, I’m probably more aware than most of the unconscious bias. However, people don’t seem to know what to say anymore, and it’s hard to resolve this by communication when people are worried in case they say the wrong thing.”

• I once went on course specifically for BAME managers – I hated it! It was an intimidating experience in itself and, in my opinion, served to widen any cracks rather than heal them.
• However, the ‘Women in Leadership’ course that I went on was great!
• Re networking, I am in a ‘BAME Women in Business’ group (it’s nice to be part of a community) and a group for women in business & influencers.

Conclusion

Well, as stated above, there isn’t really a conclusion to this topic, more of an ongoing dialogue.

What is getting in the way here? It should all be about the individual person, for respecting people for who they are and what they can do… and the vast majority of (white) businesspeople out there wouldn’t consider themselves racist in any way, shape or form…but the feedback from a small number of people would seem to infer that we are, albeit unconsciously.

I think there’s a lot more to be said on this topic….watch this space.